Dear Parents and Children,
Principals of kindergartens and special schools of the Tung Wah Group of Hospitals(TWGHs) have filmed a video for the District Council Election on 10 December, appealing to members of the public to fulfill their civic responsibilities and vote enthusiastically. On 10 December, all district elections were held to build a better and more prosperous Hong Kong.
TWGHs Fong Shu Fook Tong Kindergarten
December 1, 2023
Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist, New Horizons Development Centre
Hong Kong is a society abundant in material wealth, but due to the overabundance of resources, when children have needs in life, parents quickly provide them with ample supply, allowing them continuous satisfaction. However, parents satisfying their children’s needs too quickly can have a negative impact on them, failing to cultivate their ability to endure, and over time, their patience may become limited.
Utilizing Emotional Intelligence to Cultivate Children’s Patience
Delaying gratification or the fulfillment of life’s needs is an important part of developing emotional intelligence (EQ). If parents are accustomed to quickly satisfying their children’s needs but then complain about their lack of patience, such criticism is unfair to the children, as their patience has simply not been nurtured.
How can one delay the fulfillment of children’s needs? To train children’s emotional intelligence, the secret is “neither using the cane nor the carrot,” meaning that neither corporal punishment nor frequent rewards are necessary. Instead, patience and the ability to wait are cultivated through daily life experiences. Parents can try the following examples:
Example 1: When parents and children go to a dim sum restaurant, there is no need to let the children eat whatever they like immediately. Parents can ask the children to wait for 5 minutes after finishing one basket of dim sum before eating a second type; or they can require the children to wait until the parents have eaten a portion before they can eat. In this way, parents and children take turns eating the dim sum.
Example 2: When children ask their parents to buy toys, parents do not need to purchase them immediately. They can explain to the child to wait a few hours, days, or a week before buying, asking the children to wait patiently.
Example 3: When children return home from the street, do not let them turn on the TV immediately as they please. They must be asked to put away their shoes and socks, drink a glass of water, and sit on the sofa for 3 minutes before they can turn on the TV.
Example 4: When children go out with their parents, do not let them rush to press the elevator button immediately. Parents can ask them to wait for the parents to go out together, walk to the elevator together, and then press the button.
Parents Must Be Consistent and Credible to Train Children’s Intelligence
These are just a few examples. Parents must make good use of the “dragging tactic” in life’s details. Using the dragging tactic does not mean denying or refusing the children’s needs, but rather not satisfying them immediately. What parents need to pay attention to is that when using these tactics, they must follow through with what they say. No matter if the children act spoiled, throw a tantrum, cry, or scream, parents must stick to the principle of “dragging”; additionally, parents must also be credible and do what they have promised the children.
Furthermore, when children make requests, parents can ask the children to explain their reasons, which not only trains their emotional intelligence (EQ) but also their intelligence (IQ). By putting a little more effort into the details of children’s lives, parents can effectively help train their children’s emotional intelligence. Parents might as well give it a try!
Written by: Ms. Carmen Leung, Director of Curriculum Development, Steps Education
Many parents ask what holistic education is. From the perspective of the wisdom of the Chinese people that has been passed down for thousands of years, it is the cultivation of a child’s “morality, intelligence, physical fitness, social skills, and aesthetics”; from the perspective of psychologists, it is the cultivation of a child’s multiple intelligences; from the perspective of education, it is not only the pursuit of knowledge, but also the cultivation of a child’s values, attitudes, artistic and cultural accomplishments, interpersonal skills, problem-solving, and thinking abilities. To put it more simply, from the perspective of ordinary people, holistic education is about making sure the child is well-rounded, with good grades, many friends, positive thoughts, and capable in music, sports, and art. Do you want your child to achieve holistic development?
Multiple intelligences are divided into seven categories, with innate and acquired factors each playing a role.
Today, let’s introduce the commonly mentioned multiple intelligences from the perspective of psychology. The “Theory of Multiple Intelligences” was proposed by Professor Howard Gardner of Harvard University in 1983. He found that intelligence can be divided into at least seven types, which are linguistic intelligence, logical-mathematical intelligence, spatial-visual intelligence, musical intelligence, bodily-kinesthetic intelligence, interpersonal intelligence, and intrapersonal intelligence.
When it comes to “intelligence,” parents might think of genius or innate talent. Is intelligence innate, or is it nurtured? In fact, a person’s intelligence is partly innate and partly nurtured. Every child’s innate intelligence has a range, for example, an IQ of 100-120. No matter what you do or how much stimulation you provide, their IQ will not exceed 120, and they cannot become as smart as Einstein. So, do we still need to cultivate children’s multiple intelligences? Of course! Whether a child’s IQ stays at 100 or reaches 120 depends on how they are nurtured later on!
Each type of intelligence is equally important.
So, how should they be nurtured? Through practice? Classes? Experiencing the world? Sports and music? In fact, different types of intelligence require different nurturing methods. Scholars propose the theory of multiple intelligences to remind everyone that while parents want their children to achieve good grades and cultivate their academic subjects, such as Chinese, English, and Mathematics, they should not forget that other intelligences are equally important to the child, especially interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligences. If a child lacks in one of these areas, how can they survive in society? Therefore, when selecting courses for children, do not just choose academic, language, or literacy classes. We should pause and think, besides academic performance, in what areas does the child need improvement? How are the child’s communication skills? Analytical skills? Introspective skills? If a child’s communication skills are lacking, should parents choose courses that provide ample space for interaction, such as drama classes, to help them express themselves more?
Remember the significance behind “multiple intelligences” discussed today. Pause and think about the development of your child beyond academics!
Written by: Au Ka Leung, Registered Social Worker, Hong Kong Family Welfare Society
In 2012, it was the first year of the Hong Kong Diploma of Secondary Education Examination (HKDSE). Two years prior, I was already deeply concerned about how Form 3 students and their parents were dealing with the selection of subjects and the progression to higher education. Today, some students and parents have chosen to study abroad, leaving the local education scene. Of course, most students and parents have to face these changes, and I can only guide them with the limited public information and analysis available. For me and one of the parents, this journey is one of building confidence.
This parent has been asking questions about the new education system and exams over the past two years. In fact, he has become an expert by constantly updating himself with the latest information online, yet he still frequently asks teachers and social workers if his support and guidance for his children are appropriate. Over time, I realized that he is indeed a good father, but he lacks confidence in his son and his parenting skills.
His confidence is built on his son’s academic performance, behavior, and home environment. When discussing academic performance and behavior, one might think of exam scores and the child’s attitude towards revision. But what about the home environment? Due to his long working hours, this father only returns home after 9 pm, which is dinner time. He often mentions seeing his son pretending to be relaxed and watching TV dramas upon his return. Consequently, his understanding and guidance for his son are limited to what happens at home, leading him to distrust his son’s descriptions of school learning and after-school tutoring.
As a result, “Can you let me see you studying hard?” became this father’s mantra. Although the son wanted to explain to his father, “I work hard on my homework from class until late at night, can’t I even have a break?” his response was merely, “Oh,” leaving the father with nothing but helpless worries.
“Confidence” is a curious thing; when we see our children’s grades improve and their scores go up, we naturally feel confident. But why do we need confidence for something that has already happened? The confidence in our lives is partly transformed from personal experience, but true “confidence” is about having hope and good intentions for something that has not yet happened. Do not underestimate the power of saying, “With your abilities, you can do even better,” especially when the results are not as expected. Even a simple phrase can be enough to boost a child’s self-confidence and motivation. Being trusted by others is one of the elements that strengthen positive behavior. Expressing your good intentions with positive encouragement can bring hope to your son. In the workplace, the recognition and trust from your boss and clients are enough to allow you to come home with a relaxed mood. What a 16-year-old high school student, crying, longs for from his father is “to have a quiet meal with you.”
Dear parents, you are the witnesses to your children’s growth; they are not born failures. Over the past years, you have successfully brought them into the world, helped them grow, and learn. They have made efforts to turn over, walk, and attend classes, marking your success, “With your abilities, you can do even better.” Please regain “confidence” in yourself and them, and do not give up.
